Your Eyes Open
by Tinychu
Summary: Yao sits around his lonely house waiting for the day they'll return to his side. Dark memories are brought to the surface and he wonders: Can he ever possibly be forgiven for his sins? Set in AU. KoreaChina if you squint, really hard.


The man leans back in his chair and sighs.

"Where did all the years go?" he murmurs, blowing his long bangs out of his face.

A photograph sits on the desk, the happy faces smiling almost mockingly at him as he stares wistfully back at it.

Fingers brush against the glass sorrowfully. He'd long since given up on these foolish hopes, after all-

None of them were ever going to come back.

He stands abruptly and walks to the kitchen, laughing nervously to himself. "Aiyah, what are you thinking Yao? Get a grip on yourself, you can still see them after all."

As he prepares his tea, Yao glances morosely out the window. A brilliant sky smiles down at him, trying to entice him out of his depression. Yao merely stares bleakly back, before turning back to his tea.

"How many years has it been? I think I've lost count...ten? Twenty?" Staring longingly into the depths of his liquid heaven, he traipses over to the table, and sits at its head. Four other chairs are placed around the large table, eerily empty and still.

The only sound in the large room is the quiet sipping of tea and occasional sigh of comfort from Yao.

However, the tea is soon finished and the silence wastes no time in greedily swallowing the room.

"...I can't bear this." he pushes his empty cup away and lays his head across the table. "I need to see them now, I'm going to go insane if I don't."

Picking himself up, he grabs his shoes and places a tentative hand on the door knob, before giving a final glance at the room. Then finally, Yao exits the house.

The door is left unlocked.

* * *

He walks swiftly, passing nameless shops, and empty buildings, one destination firmly set in mind. Faceless people cry out in indignation as he bulldozes past them.

He doesn't hear them.

Unsettling thoughts cross Yao's mind, _'What if they've moved? How will I find them then?' _he stops, dead still on the footpath._ '...Maybe I should have brought a gift for them...what will they think if I don't bring one? That be so rude of me, so rude-' _

Interrupting his inner discussion, he receives a jolt of shock as a young woman taps him on the back, a worried frown pulling on her kind features.

"Are...are you alright sir?"

"M-me?" Yao's eyes dart around for a second, then quickly masks his discomfort with a shaky laugh, "O-oh. Sure, I'm fine. Perfectly normal and happy, in every way." he puts on a smile, hoping that he doesn't sound too strained.

The woman stares at him, pulling a stray lock of her long brown hair behind her ear, "You look rather, erm, out of it. I don't think that constitutes as 'perfectly normal'." she states pointedly.

His false grin falters, and another nervous chuckle exits his lips. "I'm so sorry for troubling you! I-I really am fine. Honestly."

Because he is.

Yet why does that voice keep whispering to him?

_You cannot lie forever._

Still disbelieving, the woman continues to analyse him for a few seconds before slipping the small bundle of flowers from her hair and placing it in his pale hands.

"Even so, please do look after yourself," she looks down "Especially at this time..."

Then, briefly locking eyes with him, she gives an encouraging smile and walks away.

Yao's eyes follow her for a while, then return to the flower in his delicate palm.

_'A Forget-Me-Not?'_

_Crumpled Forget-Me-Not petals. Their retreating bodies. Yells. A terrible sound. Regret._

_Pain._

_So much pain. _

_It's all your fault._

_And you can't escape it._

He shakes himself from his trance, a single tear trailing down his cheek. Yao clenches a fist, gripping the flower tightly at the stem as he begins walking with a new vigour.

_'I must hurry.'_

He's been struggling so long for a sense of normalcy ever since they left. Travelling through life on automatic, just going through the motions.

Every action seems weak and empty.

Like his own home.

Once a place where joyous cries and laughter resounded. Where games of all manner were played and sabotaged. Where memories of good times were written everyday. Now cold, still and silent, as if it was abandoned long ago.

Yet everything is still where it was, their rooms exactly the way they left it. Untainted and unmoved.

Just in case.

Rounding a corner, Yao spots their home. More tears escape his golden eyes as he steps, slowly, closer to it.

He opens the creaking gate, gingerly closing it behind him as he takes small footsteps closer towards them.

There's no one else around, this lonely place deserted, yet full of people watching his every move.

And shaking ever so slightly, he reaches their doorstep, and crouches down, whispering nonsense to himself as he looks up and stares at their door.

At their gravestone.

Yao loses any sense of composure he may have had left, breaking into heart wrenching sobs.

"I-I mi-miss you. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. I miss you all so much that I can't take it! I want to see you again! I _need _to see you again! Even if it's just a glimpse, I'm going insane! I-I couldn't even protect you, I might as well have killed you myself..." he pauses, taking a deep, shaking breath before whispering in despair, "It's all my fault."

And as he cries he doesn't hear the sound of the planes zooming through the brilliant sky.

After a good cry, Yao hastily wipes his reddened eyes. "I'm sorry I didn't visit you all sooner...I guess I just didn't think I could handle it. It just seems so much more real now," he laughs, his voice still wet and raw from crying so much, and vaguely gestures to the air, "Well, now look what's happened to me! I'm a complete wreck!"

Yao remembers the flower in his hand, his face turning softer, and more solemn.

He lays it his siblings' grave, ever so gently and whispers, "Wo ai ni. I hope I can see you all soon."

He rises slowly, then turns to walk out of the cemetery.

That's when disaster strikes.

The planes return, flying low over the cemetery. Yao ducks, trying desperately to hide himself. His attempts are vain.

Explosives are released from the steel birds. He watches his next moments go by in slow motion, seeing the bombs dive towards the earth, never once slowing.

Then all too quickly, the seeds are planted.

They blossom, a beautiful red and orange blaze of colour engulfing all that surrounds them.

Including Yao.

A hysterical smile appears on his face, and the last thing he sees are scattered flower petals, dancing in the destruction.

* * *

_"They're so pretty Yao!"_

_Yao and two children crouched eagerly by a pond, watching the water dance and ripple as the fish swam happily in them._

_"Aniki! Aniki!" Another child races down to embrace his older brother in a flying hug, that nearly knocked Yao into the pond. _

_"Aiyah! Yong Soo, watch where you're going. You could hurt someone." Yao frowned, giving the child a light bop on the head._

_"Sorry aniki...but look what me and Mei Mei found!" Yong Soo gave a mega-watt grin, and stretched forth his palms to show a flower._

_"Oh, Yao-nii, isn't it pretty?" one of the other children smiled gently, his eyes fixed on the beautiful flower._

_"What kind of flower is it?" the other one asked, the curiosity obvious in his voice._

_Yao smiled knowingly, "That flower is called a Forget-Me-Not flower, Xiang. Not suprisingly, it means to never forget. It's very, pretty isn't it?"_

_The children all nodded. Yong Soo jumping up and down while doing so._

_"I think this flower belongs in a vase, don't you Kiku?" Yao asked the child. His smile faltered as Kiku looked around anxiously. "What's the matter? Am I wrong...?"_

_The child flushed, and waved his hands in front of his face. "A-ah, no Yao-nii, it's just...where is Mei Mei?" _

_As if to answer his question, a little girl ran down to the fish pond. Although Yao can already tell..._

_Something's wrong._

_"Boys, get in the woods."_

_They looked at each other, completely confused._

_"But Aniki why-"_

_"Just do it Yong Soo. Go. All of you. Now!"_

_The boys took one look at Yao's serious face, then sprint, as fast as their short legs can carry them. Glancing nervously over their shoulders._

_Mei Mei reached Yao, clearly distressed. Her breathing erratic, and eyes puffy and red, tears still freely flowing._

_"Y-Y-Yao..." she whimpered. He crouched to her height and held her close to him._

_"What happened?" he tried to keep his voice calm, steady, but hearing the screams not too far away doesn't help him in that respect._

_The girl sniffled, wiping her nose on her dirty sleeve, "I was with Yong Soo, w-we were playing when we f-found this flower. And-and we thought you would like it s-so I looked for some more while he went to sh-show you it..." she paused, trying to calm her breathing, and continued, "Then when I found another one...this...this big man came. He tried to grab me, but then our neighbour came and h-hit him. Then he got out a gun! And some more big men appeared...they were all wearing the same thing. And Mr. neighbour, they...they..." she broke down in tears again._

_Wordlessly, Yao picked her up and stared into her weepy face. "Everything is going to be okay Mei. I promise. I'll keep you all safe." _

_A sharp bang resounded, and a low wail could be heard not too far off._

_They were getting closer._

_He ran._

_Following the same path the boys took, Yao sprinted to the forest, Mei Mei clinging to him for dear life._

_

* * *

_

_"Yao-nii!"_

_"Aniki!"_

_The boys crowded around him, eyes wide and fearful._

_"What's going on Aniki? Why are we here?"_

_"I heard some loud bangs Yao...what were they?"_

_Yao sighed, and sat down on carpet of red and brown, Mei Mei still hugging him._

_"A war has been started." he stared bleakly at the ground, "We need to hide if we want...if we want to stay alive."_

_The children looked on in horror._

_Kiku was the first to break the silence, "So, those bangs we heard...those were...gunshots."_

_Xiang fiddled with his sleeves nervously, while Yong Soo slumped to the forest floor, a dazed look on his face. _

_Another scream was heard and Yao flinched, before answering simply, "Yes."_

_Mei Mei gave another sob and Yao quickly hushed her._

_"But it's okay! I'll make sure none of you get hurt. You got that?"_

_Xiang looked Yao in the eye, "But will you keep yourself safe?" _

_There was a painful silence._

_Xiang looked dejectedly at the sky, whispering, "I thought so."_

_Yao sat there, thoughts running wildly through his mind._

_'I have to keep them safe. How can I do that? Surely they'll find us here. We need a way out...we have to get out if we want to live. At least get some supplies. But I can't leave them alone, what if they're found? But if I don't we'll die even if we aren't found. The kids can't get food or things like that on their own...They can't do it. I won't have them risk their lives. I will not.'_

_His decision was made. Placing Mei Mei on a log, he stood up._

_"I'm going to sneak back to the house and get some provisions. We'll starve out here _

_if we don't have anything to eat."_

_The children looked like they were going to protest. Yao raised a hand, signalling them to stop, "I need you guys to be brave. Kiku, can you be in charge while I'm gone? I'm sure you'll do a good job of keeping Yong Soo behaved. Make sure you're hidden, and quiet. I'll be back soon, I promise."_

_And with that he left._

_Yong Soo watched his brother sneak away, a tear trailing down his face, "I love you aniki...please be safe."_

* * *

_The forest was on fire._

_Crumpled Forget-Me-Not petals littered the burning floor, shrivelling and then fading to ash._

_"No..." Yao whispered. He was panicking. "No! No! No! No!"_

_Yao drops the items had retrieved and ran into the burning abyss. _

_He doesn't care if he's seen now. He just needs them to be alive. He needs to see their faces. He never even said goodbye to them then..._

_"Xiang!" he called, his voice being swallowed by the roaring fire._

_"Kiku! Mei Mei! Yong Soo!" he coughed, ash seeping into his airway. "Damn it! Where are you?" _

_The fire begins to die, it's revelries almost finished. And in the heat Yao can swear he heard a terrified cry._

_"Aniki! Yao! Please come back!"_

_Without thinking he sprinted further into the danger, avoiding falling, ashen trees and wild sparks of flame that try to attach themselves to him. The voice gets closer, and closer and closer and-_

_-BANG- _

_A sound like the terrible roar of a lion rang through the blackened forest. Yao paused, willing to hear anything, anyone. But there was nothing. Tears flowed readily from his eyes, itching from all the residue of the fire. _

_Yao ran. _

_He ran and ran until he couldn't run any further. _

_The fire had died now, satisfied with his work it had left._

_Yao glanced around, completely shaken and unstable. He coughed, "Where are you?"_

_Looking again, "Where are you?"_

_And his eyes met a terrible sight. _

_Their bodies, lifeless lay on the burnt ground, battered and blackened. _

_He let out a terrible scream as he felt his legs give way, falling, falling._

_They were dead. _

_They were dead and he caused it._

* * *

"Hnng-"

Yao opens his eyes to find himself completely surrounded by a vast expanse of white.

Getting up off the floor, he looks around hoping to see anything, anything at all.

After a thorough scan, he slumps.

It really is hopeless.

He stands there, in the familiar grating silence that's eating him alive, swallowing his soul whole when-

"Aniki!"

Yao turns, his eyes wide and disbelieving.

Then for the first time, in many, many years-

he truly smiles.

* * *

**OOC Characters are terribly OOC.**

**Bad story is bad.**

**Stating the obvious is fun.**

**Anywayyy, hey there, it's nice to meet you! Thanks so much for putting up with this terrible first try of writing fanfiction.**

**Hopefully all can be forgiven because it's my first try, and it's an AU, right? Right?**

**Everyone: WRONG =D **

**Blaaaaaghghghgh, again, thanks for reading. I DO REALLY WANT REVIEWS. and critiquing is also welcomed whole heartedly. I just want to get better at writing, so if people could help give tips in any way that would be fantastic~~**

**So this idea spawned from a combination of studying "My Son Jack", "Dulce et Decorum est" and so on in English, and also listening to Keane Under the Iron Sea non-stop. Ohohohohoho. **

***insert witty reason why I do not own Hetalia here***

**I look forward to improving and writing more fiction (I'm all for procrastinating other things! ), and hope to hear from you soon.**

**Tinychu~~**


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